What You're Really Afraid She'll Think

Dreamgirl Diaries

Let's be honest.

You're probably not as worried about the fantasy as you think you are.

I've noticed something over the years.

A man will tell me something he's never told anyone before, and before I'm even able to respond, he starts explaining it.

He'll tell me what it doesn't mean.

What conclusions I shouldn't jump to.

What assumptions I shouldn't make.

It's almost like he's preparing a defense before the trial has even started.

And I understand why.

Because the fantasy usually isn't the scary part.

The scary part is what someone else might think it says about you.

Maybe you're worried she'll question your sexuality.

Maybe you're worried she'll think you're strange.

Maybe you're worried she'll stop seeing you as the man she's always known.

Maybe you're worried she'll think one fantasy somehow defines your entire character.

I've heard all of it.

And honestly?

Most of the time, you're judging yourself far more harshly than I ever could.

One thing I've learned from talking to men is that many of you carry entire conversations in your head before saying a single word out loud.

You imagine the reaction.

You imagine the disappointment.

You imagine the judgment.

You imagine being misunderstood.

And because of that, some conversations never happen.

Some fantasies never get discussed.

Some questions never get asked.

Not because they're impossible.

Because vulnerability is uncomfortable.

Especially when the opinion that matters most belongs to someone you care about.

The interesting thing is that most people want the same thing.

To be seen as a whole person.

Not reduced to one confession.

Not reduced to one fantasy.

Not reduced to one private thought.

A whole person.

That's a lot rarer than people realize.

Your Dreamgirl®